Grief
Grief is a word we all know – but one we rarely want to think about. It is something every person will experience, yet very few of us are truly prepared to manage.
Grief is often defined as keen mental suffering or distress over a loss or hardship – a sharp sorrow or painful regret. At the very heart of this definition is intense sorrow. Grief is a deep emotional response to great loss.
Grief is most often thought to occur due to death of a loved one yet there are many life experiences that can cause grief:
- Death of a loved one
- Divorce or the ending of a relationship
- The onset of a chronic or terminal illness
- Job loss
- Delivering a child with a birth defect
- Disability resulting from illness or a severe accident
- Loss of independence
- Surviving an act of violence or natural disaster
- Discovering that a child or teen has a learning disability, behavioral challenges, or substance abuse issues
- Miscarriage or stillbirth
- Infidelity within a marriage
- Suicide
- Estranged relationships with family
- Trauma
After a loss, many people notice changes they do not immediately connect to grief. Symptoms may include:
- Difficulty concentrating and disorganized thinking
- Inability to complete projects or tasks
- Reduced memory and recall
- Trouble making even simple decisions
- Challenges with organization and planning
- A general sense of absent-mindedness
- Difficulty sleeping
- Fatigue
- Anxiety
Common and Specific Types of Grief:
Anticipatory Grief: This type of grief occurs before an impending loss, such as when a loved one has a terminal diagnosis. It allows for preparation but can be emotionally draining
Disenfranchised Grief: Grief that is not openly acknowledged or socially validated, such as the loss of a pet, a secret relationship, or a death from a stigmatized cause (e.g., suicide, addiction).
Complicated/Prolonged Grief: A long-lasting, intense state of mourning where the individual cannot accept the loss, leading to impaired daily functioning.
Delayed Grief: One may experience this type of grief when reactions do not immediately occur but surface days, weeks, or even years later.
Masked Grief: One displays this type of grief when they act as if they are fine but experience physical symptoms or self-destructive behaviors resulting from the loss.
Cumulative Grief: This type of grief occurs when an individual experiences multiple losses in a short period of time without fully processing them.
Collective Grief: This is shared grief experienced by a community or nation, often following natural disasters, acts of terrorism, or public tragedies.
Distorted/Exaggerated Grief: This grief results in intense, sometimes extreme, reactions (like extreme rage or anger) that hinder normal function.
Treatment for grief includes:
Education
- Defining grief
- Understanding symptoms
- Brain education
- Cultural and Family of Origin methods learned about grief
- Intellectual vs. Emotional processing of grief
Interventions
- Giving a safe space to talk about emotions related to loss
- Addressing faulty beliefs and feelings that may emerge due to loss
- Identifying secondary losses
- Providing coping strategies for nervous system regulation and emotion management
- Teaching a method to process loss
- Giving a safe space to witness the pain associated with loss
- Identifying triggers and creating coping strategies
- Safety planning